Sandra Bernhard

Everything Bad & Beautiful: Enhanced Version

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Recorded at the CBGB Medusa Festival
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Listening to Sandra Bernhard’s CD release of her off-Broadway stage act “Everything Bad & Beautiful” is like being seated next to a table full of witty socialites at a crowded restaurant. You’re just sitting there doing your own thing, and you become swept up in more

a whirlwind of laughter. You find yourself wanting to be in their group instead of sitting there with your sad lasagna for one. Recorded over two nights at The Daryl Roth Theatre in New York City, Everything Bad & Beautiful contains a hearty handful of live comedy, song-stylings and political satire. Tackling subject matter such as Condoleeza Rice being a sell-out to Bernhard claiming responsibility for Mariah Carey’s nervous breakdown, there’s something for everyone—“Rosanne” fans and “L Word” worshipers alike.

Bernhard performs with such an on-point conversational tone that it really creates an atmosphere of friendly gossip rather than a theater performance. Her shining moments are when she gets caught up in the punch line and spits out sassy hits like a champ. Hearing her hiss that John Kerry is a “big headed, Ronald Regan look-alike motherfucker” just never stops being funny.

Having been nestled in domesticity with her long-time companion, Sara, and her daughter Cicely for many years now, Bernhard has not let her home life soften her sharp wit in the slightest. The most rip-roaring bit on the CD revolves around Bernhard discovering e-mail to exchange constant updates with her working girlfriend while stuck at home bored out of her mind, yet faking a busy schedule.

It feels good to laugh, and it is liberating to hear someone say things in a way you wish you could say them, to people you wish you could say them to. Bernhard isn’t afraid, and she’d be the perfect dinner date. (Kelly McClure)

Full review here

Sandra Bernhard is an original, much like her doppelganger the late French actress Sarah Bernhardt, and her newest comedy CD --of sorts, it is that and much more-- Everything Bad & Beautiful more

is just as original as this great lady of the stage. Bernhard is a multi-talented, erudite, take no prisoners and fools gladly singer, writer, poet, and anything else she needs to be to make a Sarah Bernhard show or recording a precise but sometimes seemingly off the cuff artistic performance that never, ever dumbs down for the audience.

I am not always partial to Bernhard. I really like Without You I'm Nothing but am less than impressed with I'm Still Here ... Damn It! (aka the pregnant in a negligee show). Everything Bad & Beautiful is a comedy performance CD that makes me want to reconsider past releases I did not really enjoy and think about getting and listening to what, in her vast catalogue, I am not familiar with What I admire in Everything Bad & Beautiful is how effortlessly Sarah Bernhard can do a pas de deux from caustic, dark comments to sweet, innocent observations on the same topic. This is especially true and evident in Motherhood / The Flame / Thanksgiving where she rips apart Anne Geddes and Celine Dion and then talks about her own experience as a mother in a piece that is innocent, heartfelt, realistic, and angst ridden. I doubt there is another artist or comic that can do this kind of material and Bernhard makes all the transitions sound totally natural with a kind of self-awareness we all wish we had more often. It is a very human piece that you want to listen to a few times to get every nuance she has put into it.

I am much less partial to material like Sara and Out Of Tears which sounds more like a witty monologue to a shrink over a double mocha frappe cappuccino than comedy or show material. The track Mariah Carey & Britney Spears simply reminded me that Carey and Spears are the new Michael Jackson and airplane jokes. I also wonder about the interest of the Bob Dylan track

The political material, such as Kerry Laura Bush Lynn Cheney and Condoleeza Rice & Rosa Parks is superb although I wish the Rice & Parks had been expanded. The short bits Hugh Hefner and I Hate Golf / Mock The Poor are also fun.

Sandra Bernhard Everything Bad & Beautiful is not a CD you put on for a few laughs. Everything Bad & Beautiful is, without wanting to seem pompous or artsy-fartsy, often an aural experience that brings to mind the very best old-style Broadway chanteuse who has a Sybil like ability to transform into a punk, bitch, and little girl.

Richard Lanoie (link)

By Daniel A. Kusner Life+Style Editor, Aug 10, 2006

If you couldn’t make the trip to New York’s Daryl Roth Theater to check out Sandra Bernhard’s latest show, “Everything Bad and Beautiful,” don’t fret. A live album, recorded May 23-24, was recently more

released ($16.99, Breaking Records Music). It’s a must-have for any Bernhard fan. Out of the 21 tracks, the album’s fourth “Kerry/Laura Bush/Lynn Cheney” is by far the most memorable. Still reeling from the 2004 election, Sandra catches up with the women caught in the political spotlight. Bernhard goes off on a scathing rant about our current first lady. During the dawn of her second term, Laura Bush busted out — marching into New York City like a “grand diva goddess bitch.” Hanging out with Oscar de la Renta in his atelier, breezing through Christos’ “Gates” in Central Park, taking in fine dining and the museums.

The rest of Bernhard’s tirade is exquisite.

“I said, ‘Hold on a minute, sister. You take those two tube-top-wearing, taquito-munching, beer-and-tequila swizzling, Texas Longhorn-hooking daughters and beat it. You are not welcome in our fair city where you pass judgment. You cannot have it both ways. Go back to your people. Listen to Christian broadcast and enjoy a casserole.’

“I cannot believe this woman is as stupid as she pretends to be. Never has a woman brought less to the table than our present woman. She is unbelievable. Forget Eleanor Roosevelt or Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy, who brought in Pablo Casals to play in the White House with her gorgeous husband wearing Halston. It was O.T.T. glamour. Pat Nixon in a good cloth coat brought more to the picnic than this broad.”

And from there, it only gets better. Especially when Bernhard demands to see the Bush twins’ gynecological records.

— Daniel A. Kusner


Sandra Bernhard
Everything Bad & Beautiful
VIDEO Enhanced CD $17.99
Sandra Bernhard
Everything Bad & Beautiful
Limited Edition CD $21.99




NEW!! Perfection

De La Guarda...


Kerry-Laura Bush...

Condoleeza Rice...



Flint, Michigan

Bob Dylan


Mariah Carey...


Hugh Hefner

I Hate Golf-Mock...

Christian Lady